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David Board

August 24, 2012

Dear Readers,

I always enjoy the ranting humor in my friend David Board's (AKA Wildman) emails and I thought I'd share the one I got this week.

Hi Steve,

Hey I just got my latest Sectional Charts from NOS and I wondered if you had yours yet. When you get a chance take a good look at them.

There have been some very disturbing changes. Of course the price went up as usual that never changes, but as unbelievable as this my sound, some of the most important and useful information on the charts has now been omitted. That's right! The first thing I noticed was that they no longer show airport unicom frequencies in the airport data block. Can you believe it?

Yes, where the frequency used to be there is now just the letter U. Well no kidding batman! I know there is a unicom there but I need the frequency you bloody moron. This seems like a deliberate malfeasance or dereliction of duty issue to me and I am wondering how those criminals drawing a government pay checks at the NOS chart division can get away with it. What kind of useless information is the letter U anyway. How much more ink would it have taken to put the frequency in there?

This is a very provocative development if you ask me. Its obviously an insult from the lazy, pen pushing weasels at the NOS, aimed like a slap in the face at honest God fearing people who fly here in America. Why don't they just print them all on April 1st and be done with it. Or just put the word "Guess" where the frequency used to be and be so we can all enjoy the joke. Could this the handy work of the department of Homeland Security by any chance? Is the unicom frequency information now published on a need to know basis only? Can our God forsaken government get any worse? I guess this means that if you want that vital data you have to have to buy a GPS data base with current the frequencies on it or have a current copy of the relevant Airport Facility Directory (AFD) on board cluttering up the cockpit. Just what I need when I come into a busy airport with no control tower; another book to reference when common sense dictates that I should looking be looking for traffic. No unicom frequency on the chart, its tantamount to an act of government sponsored terrorism! Unbelievable!

Steve, how about the guy in a bit of a flap with his pants on fire? There he is having to divert to an alternate airport in an emergency. An airport that he is very likely to be unfamiliar with. Now it seems that on top of dealing with the seat back pockets behind him that are always stuffed full of sick sacks and old Sectional Chart, now he will need to have a sizable box full of AFD's and nerves of steel to maintain the calm collected demeanor of a pilot under pressure while he deftly juggles the joy stick, his useless chart and the fire extinguisher, only now you can add looking up the frequency in the AFD if he is to declare his emergency to the local traffic. All this with his damn pants on fire? Let's hope he has a functional autopilot on board.

OK, I hear you saying it Steve... "Who has time to dial in a frequency on the radio when his pants are on fire for goodness sake!" And as usual you are absolutely right, but then, what if he arrives at a busy little airport like Carol County (TSO) for instance; where the home made pies are frankly second to none anywhere in the world, and the traffic resembles the approach to an Apiary on an afternoon in June (no Steve that has nothing to do with Monkies, an Apiary is a cluster of bee hives, get it?) and at an airport like TSO, which as you know has no taxiways, it seems misbegotten to rob the chart user of unicom frequency information and force some poor unfortunate pilot who made the mistake of having both a Roman candle and a bic lighter in his back pocket... (hey, you may laugh, but its still perfectly legal to smoke in the cockpit if you like and there is nothing in the FAR's about fireworks) so poor old Sparky now has to reach behind him and fumble around in the seat back pocket in order to dig out the AFD and go to the index and figure out the airport's proper name because they are not listed by the name on the chart, to find the unicom frequency with sparks and smoke pouring out of his Bermuda shorts. Especially if just as he gets on final, some sleepy pilot down there on the ground, full of the perfect pie crust and a delicious mixture of exotic fruit compote, is now fixing to back taxi on to the runway from the midway point! And if that's not bad enough, it gets worse!

Gone also are the altitude limits on class B airspace. Obviously the FAA has not been getting enough airspace infractions, sp they must have bribed someone at NOS to omit class be floor and ceiling altitudes too. This is the equivalent to poking out one of the pilot's eyes with a sharp stick. Good grief. Do you suppose this has got something to do with Obama being in the White House? Are we cutting back on ink for navigation charts to pay for this new fancy european style health care fiasco? I don't get it Steve. This is the craziest damn thing I have ever seen from any government agency: ever!. This could be the spark that ignites the next revolution! Well, I am just not going to use current charts anymore. So there. They are worthless now anyway. That's all there is to it. I will cancel my subscription today Its safer to use the old ones that have more information on them. Just ask that pilot with the scorched and smoldering underwear.

Hey, wait a minute, Sportys sent me a Wac chart! I ordered all Sectionals, why those idiots!



Steve Weaver Aircraft Sales - Route 3 Box 696 - Phillipi, West Virginia - Phone 304-457-4523 - Fax 304-457-4799 For a restorative vacation for both your body and your soul, consider a week on the banks of the unforgettable Tygart River, in the heart of West Virginia. Click for more.

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